The world's media put the boot into England yesterday, describing Sven-Göran Eriksson’s men as boring, weary, lethargic, full of hot air, long balls, a lonely striker and a star midfield player who gave us “a goal and a pile of vomit”. The home of football could be thankful, a Brazilian paper declared, that the WAGs [Wives and Girlfriends], “anorexics addicted to shopping with hollow lobotomised heads”, were there to “detract from their team’s poor football skills”.
BRAZIL
The Folha de São Paulo has the headline “Worsening with each match, England eliminate the Ecuadoreans”. To prove a point, it compares the first-phase matches with the latest one: England passed less (332 against Ecuador, against 374 before), passed worse (81 per cent on target, against 86.6), took control far less (122 against 143.7), finished off far fewer times (ten against 20.7), crossed less (16 against 31.7), dribbled less (12 against 16.7) and even had less possession (25min 19sec against 28:48sec).
Portugal, the Folha claims, could consider themselves favourites for a quarter-final against “the weary, lethargic English”.
GERMANY
Stefan Effenberg, the former Germany player and now a TV pundit, rounded on England, with a widely quoted: “I wouldn’t call this football — it’s a botch job.”
Bild declared that “the only hot thing in the game was the air”. England, it said, “disappointed us for the third time. No tempo . . . only long balls and a lonely striker”. England had “stumbled into the quarter-finals”, the Frankfurter Allgemeine said, with Beckham’s free kick “the only bright spark in a disappointing match”.
Die Welt noted, however: “Sven-Göran Eriksson announced that the match was a matter of life and death, an obvious exaggeration. But since he brought the subject up, it’s worth noting that the English are still alive.”
SPAIN
For El Nacional it was “easy to believe Sven when he said the best is yet to come because the white flag with the cross of Saint George suffered in the face of lesser rivals . . . unlike the subjects of Queen Elizabeth . . . Ecuador went out with their heads held high”. England’s was “an embarrassing performance from the country that invented football”.
England is “a timid team”, El Comercio said, while for ABC Beckham’s kick “saved a team that was ordinary and conservative from beginning to end”. The captain’s tummy upset led El Pams to the conclusion that England’s performance was “a goal and a pile of vomit”, while it also mocked: “England continues its absurd World Cup campaign. With each passing game, it gets worse”.
ITALY
La Gazetta dello Sport summed up a “boring, slow-moving and unimpressive match” with: “England wins without enchanting . . . for now it’s enough.”
FRANCE
L’Equipe praised Ashely Coles performance, allocating him top score in points out of 10, with 6.5. There was a 6 for Beckham while Rooney was “a boy who sees, thinks, understands and imagines football as he lives and breathes . . . he improved every ball he received. The only thing missing was a goal”. It lambasted Lampard (3.5), Hargreaves (3.5), Terry (4) Carrick (4), Cole (4) and Ferdinand (4.5).
PORTUGAL
“An epic victory!” and “What brave hearts!” the headlines screamed in the Record newspaper. But not for England. A Bola called its team “Heroes of the resistance”. but the last word goes to the Diario de Noticias, which, recalling what happened at the European Championships two years ago, delivers a chilling prediction ahead of the quarter-final on Saturday: “Here come the penalties against England again.”
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